**so, if the title was no clue, I’m a corper now and camping plus redeployment is why I’ve been gone the past three months. I’ve missed you all.. Hopefully, you guys missed me too.
If you had a girlfriend during your service year or intend to have one, you’ll enjoy this series.
If you’re also like me – single corper not wanting any ties- you’ll have a blast.
This is purely fictional, by the way.. Enjoy**
MONICA & DANIEL
Someone stormed into his room. Oh. It was Monica.
If the look on her face was any indication, Monica was pissed as hell at him.
What had he done this time? He wondered.
“Hi Love” Daniel said in his nicest voice, opening his arms and going for a hug which his girlfriend neatly sidestepped.
“Don’t hi love me, you sneaky son of a bitch” she spat out
“Okay. What did I do this time?”
Monica crossed the length of his room to perch idly on one corner of his small bed.
Being a semi-fresh Corper hadn’t really allowed him enough resources and time to furnish his room to his taste.
The large room thus held only what furniture had been provided by the school authority; a well used floor carpet, the small bed, a table and chair, three pots and a stove, a couple of plates that looked like they had seen better days and a small wall hanger; and thus looked like crap.
On the hanger hung a few shirts and a small travel box that held the rest of his things stood just underneath the hanger.
He didn’t mind though because he intended to do something about it once the next allowee was paid.
“Monica, darling” he began, moving forward till he came to stand in front of her
“You can’t just walk in here angry at me without telling me anything. How am I supposed to know what to apologize for when I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong? Eh?” he finished
Monica looked him up and down as if trying to discern by some means whether or not he was telling the truth about not knowing what he did wrong.
“So you want to act as if you don’t know now abi?”
“I swear on my head, my Love. I have no idea. Please now, Moni? Tell me?”
“Swear you weren’t flirting with Kemi in front of me today. Just swear.” She accused
Daniel’s mouth fell open, the look on his face as bewildered and confused as his thoughts.
Wait o. Kemi? Me? Flirt? When? How?
He was about to begin the denial and affirmation speech- denial of the offence and affirmation of his love for her- when Monica got up and hugged him tight.
Okay. What now?
“Danny, don’t be giving these babes eye na, eh? You know how hard we had to work to make sure we serve in the same place. Why do you want these babes to come between us na? eh?”
“Habba, Moni. What babes? You know the only person I have eyes for is you”
“But that Kemi is always hanging around you. Always telling you nice stuff and you’ll be smiling and responding like you…like you…” She stopped talking and let go of him to calm herself.
“I’m sorry it seemed that way, dear. I really am. But, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was encouraging her. If you don’t want me to talk with her again, I won’t. I promise” he finished, adjusting his position so that he was standing right in front of her.
Daniel took her jaw between his fingers and looked her in the eye.
“Tell me what you want done and I’ll do it. But, please, for the sake of our love Moni, don’t doubt me like that again jor. I know I have made mistakes but I actually honestly do love you and would never hurt you”
“Do you even have to ask?”
Daniel lowered his lips softly to hers and kissed her in the most convincing way he could.
“I love you, Monica. You jealousie, jealousie woman” Daniel joked after he freed her lips.
“I love you too, Daniel. I’m trying to trust you again jor and jealousy isn’t a crime” she replied, smiling as she lifted her head for another kiss.
It was a cool August evening. It had rained lightly all afternoon leaving a nice humid breeze which just soothed and calmed. Onyinye rocked back and forth on the comfy chair and smiled, looking down lovingly at her hands which lay protectively over her eight-month old pregnancy. She already thought of a name for her incredible bundle of joy. Being a lover of the old system, she had decided not to ask for the sex of the baby she was expecting, so she planned that if it was a girl she’d name her Onyinyechi after herself so the baby could bear Junior since not many females got to bear that and if it was a boy she’d name him Udochi after her sister, the chief solid thing in her life.
“Nne, I have a feeling you’ll spoil this baby rotten.” Udochi said, coming out of the house, wearing a big smile and carrying with her a tray of hot goat pepper soup and sliced bread with fresh homemade juice and two glasses.
“If I don’t spoil my own child, whose should I spoil?” She replied and struggled to sit up
“We’re lucky we got a nice body from Mama o. Imagine what would have happened to us… the way you stuff us” She finished and grabbed a bowl of soup.
“See her… yeye. As if you don’t like it” Udochi teased
“My manager called while you were in. We just sold half a million copies” Onyinye announced
“E si kini? What? Wow! I’m so happy for you, girl. Who would have thought?” Udochi leapt to her feet. “Cheers, honey you deserve every kobo” Udochi grinned.
“Never could have done it without you… and Ade and Lizzy” She laughed and added
“Oh! And Reuben, the good doctor… he gave me more than he’d ever know” Onyinye rubbed her right palm over her tummy again.
Yes, the good doctor had given her something special – Her child.
Ade and Lizzy had gotten married exactly one month after they had left her place that day and she had attended with a friend; Reuben. He had offered to go with her after she had gone to request his permission to write him into her novel at the time- “I want to play a bigger part in your story… I love it” he had said. He never knew how big a role fate had intended for him to play.
Onyinye soon found him to be great company and somehow, she had ended up falling for him. They had made love once when he told her he was leaving the country and didn’t know how long before he’d return. She’d felt like she’d regret it if she hadn’t kissed him back when he’d kissed her goodbye… and nature had led them all the way. Oh! What gifted hands he’d had.
Then, one month after – just when she started to miss Reuben too much and was about to fall into depression – she’d tested positive to pregnancy and from there her joy had become complete. She published her novel two months later and in a little over seven months she had sold half a million copies. She had fame and money and joy. And Ade – he called regularly, stayed in touch. She had it all.
Considering the title of her novel which she’d drawn from the little black book she’d kept once, Onyinye wondered aloud
“Who really achieved The Mission? Udochi. Was it you who set out to reunite what you believed to be lost lovers? Or was it Ade who came all the way to take back his love? Was it Lizzy who set out to get the man? Or is it I? I who always wanted a child of my own… not to replace the one I lost, but to be the exact same one? No, I failed on that front… But I got a gift, a blessing of peace in this child I’m expecting.”
“Isn’t it amazing how we all had our own little Mission? You got the lovers to get some closure. Ade walked away because he wanted that more than he wanted to stay with me. Lizzy looked worried as hell when she saw me at their wedding, you’d almost think she didn’t get the man. And I… I didn’t know what my mission was until now. It is to be complete… I thought that meant having my baby back but it doesn’t, Udo. I have Love. My mission was to find Love and I found it. I have you, and this baby… and who knows, I may just have Reuben. I am complete.” Onyinye laughed richly as realization dawned on her.
“You had The Mission, Onyi. You always did…ever since you didn’t do that which you loved to do – you edited instead of writing. But now you have it all and I am happy for you” Udochi replied but Onyinye’s laughter had died a quick death. In its place was a look Udochi knew all too well – Labour pains.
Thanks for being very patient.
Lizzy stormed to the bathroom and back with a half bucket of water and a sponge can she had found in the bathroom.
“Let me see how you can sleep on after this”. Smiling a sadistic smile, she collected a cup-full of water and poured it on Ade’s face then moved quickly to do the same to the bimbo lying beside him.
Ade sat up with a start. Someone had poured water in his face. Why would Onyi choose such a cruel way to wake him up? Ade coughed and took his left hand to his face to wipe off the water. What did she want to do? Drown him? He pinched his nose to remove the water he had taken in and opened his eyes.
Dear Lord! Lizzy was standing over Onyinye and about to dump the entire content of the bucket on her.
Lizzy had hesitated long enough to get on top of the bed – she needed a clear shot at the target – and to decide that a cup of water wasn’t good enough for this husband snatcher.
As she turned the bucket over, she saw Ade leap at her from the corner of her eye and felt him slam into her, knocking her to the farthest side of the bed. If it had been a small bed, she would have landed with the back of her head on the hard tiled floor.
The bucket went into the air and landed somewhere around the dressing table sending some expensive tubes and bottles flying everywhere and some ended up shattering against the hard floor. There was water all over the bed.
Onyinye tried to stir but something had fallen on top of her and winded her. She needed to breathe. She pushed against something solid- Oh! It was a chest- Ade’s chest.
Ade felt her hands push against him and knew he had to get off of her. She was probably struggling to breathe what with having his entire 85kg weight fallen on her. He scrambled up to his elbows and knees still leaning above her in a somewhat awkward pose. The moment he had seen Lizzy standing above her with that look of absolute spite in her eyes, he had felt the need to protect her. Reflex, more than anything else, spurred by a rush of adrenaline had made him react the way he did, landing atop her and taking most of the water on his own back. He hoped he hadn’t hurt his fiancée.
Onyinye took a long breath and squeezed out from between his arms and legs. Heavens! Ade was a massive man- not that you would notice just by looking at him because he was more lean muscle and heavy bone- she could tell because her body shook a little as a result if the impact. She felt like she had been hit by a mid-speed riding motorcycle.
Ade straightened up and sat on his haunches.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, what happened?” Onyinye asked but Ade was already gone.
Onyinye followed his movement and saw her just starting to get up- A woman. Who was she? How did she get in there?
Wait a minute!
Onyinye looked around the room. A lot was out of place. Her dressing table looked like it had been attacked by a bunch of angry teenagers… or an angry mistress? A wife? Fiancée!
“Get your hands off of me” Lizzy yelled at Ade
“I just wanted to check if you were hurt. I am so sorry. Liz” He said, backing off just a little.
Lizzy. Oh, so this is the fiancée.
Lizzy rose to her feet and let out a mirthless chuckle.
“So this is the help she needed” She said looking from one “culprit” to the other.
“Liz, dearest, please don’t jump to conclusions. It is not what you think” Ade said, reaching out to her but she moved away and continued
“You must suppose I am stupid. A shirtless man and a skanky woman wearing flimsy lingerie lying very close in each other’s arms around 11am in the morning. What else is there to think? Oh, I know. You spent all night “helping” each other.” She said, shooting arrows from her eyes at both of them.
Ade quickly looked at Onyi at the mention of lingerie. He had to look away just as fast because his fiancée would have had his head if he hadn’t. She had been wearing the small shorts and shirt when they had fallen asleep that morning. The new look screamed suspicious from the roof tops, oh, and sexy – he hadn’t been able to keep all of the water from pouring on her and she now sat there, flimsy silk badly wet on the top, beautiful breasts in full view of anybody who cared to look – just that one quick look was already doing havoc to his entire system. She must have changed into that sometime when he was asleep.
Mahn! Thou art screwed. Get a fierce grip, now!
There is no easy way out of this.
“Liz, I swear nothing happened….”
“Don’t tell me that rubbish….”
Onyinye tuned out the couple to think for herself
No bottle on that table had cost less than a thousand naira…And how did she get in here? the voice started
If she has destroyed anything else in this house she’ll be miserable. She has some nerve.
And he must not have told her about me. I mean, if I had spent all night taking her man like that he wouldn’t have rushed to her side to offer any bloody explanation – that is if he would still remember the use of English. Onyinye smiled.
“You’ve always known how to get me going” she said to herself
“But, that bloody female, do I even look like someone who spent the entire night and almost half the day in “bangimonial bliss”? She continued, quite irritated.
Onyinye had tossed and turned for the most part of the morning until she had decided to take a dip in the tub and change into that cute lingerie. A part of her had even wanted to see the way Ade would react when he woke up to see her that way.
What? Girls must be girls the voice added
“What am I going to do? It has been decided, hasn’t it? Friends don’t really care what other friends think about their looks and all that. There is no romance between us anyhow. Nothing happened and nothing ever will” Onyinye murmured to herself.
But she destroyed our stuff and got us and our bed wet… plus she is going away with the man.
She would feel like a ‘princess sparkles’ for a long time to come whereas we just have these few minutes to have whatever kind of fun we want to have… to feel special. To get her.
“Why don’t I like it when you give me ideas?”
“I agree though. I know just the thing that both serves her right and would make me feel good” She smiled to herself, thinking mischievously.
“I am so famished” Onyinye announced to the couple who stopped arguing abruptly and turned to look at her like she was crazy.
They had real problems and she was tired and hungry? Ade asked with his eyes
Onyinye looked pointedly at Ade, ignoring his silent question as she slowly got out of the bed, cat-walked to the closet, walked in and started to change out of her wet cloth
“I haven’t had anything since lunch yesterday” She crooned “You kept me pretty busy, Ade” she added
She could feel the tension rise even higher in the room and that gave her some weird form of pleasure.
Onyinye changed into a small dress in record time and stepped out into the room then, ignoring everybody, headed straight for the kitchen calling out just as she reached the door of her room
The girl inside was singing “Halleluiah” while the voice of reason kept entreating from some faraway place “Please, girl, if you won’t help him, just let them go”
Ade was shocked out of his senses. Where did the sweet Onyinye go? The one who would have gone out of her way to convince Lizzy that nothing had gone down? Heck! Where was the proud one who would have lashed out at the babe and told her where to park her trouble?
He would appreciate anyone right then- even the wounded one that would have kicked the both of them out of her house and just went off to nurse somewhere.
He just didn’t understand this girl. She was new to him. This Onyinye looked like she just wanted to complicate issues for him. What was that cat-walk? And the condescending patronizing voice she had adopted?
This is going to be interesting.
Lizzy had stormed off after Onyinye while he had stayed back to muse for a short while.
He heard a loud stream of obscenities and an even more deafening “Adebola”. Only one person was capable of being that loud and swearing that much in a go.
Onyinye – when she was angry.
“Ade, please come and get this mad woman out of my house or there’ll be war. Biko. I really appreciate you and all you’ve been for me these past few days but I really can’t stand this lady” Onyinye fumed.
Ade rushed off following the sound and came upon a disturbing sight. Lizzy was barely standing as laughter made her bend at the knees and nearly fall to the ground while Onyinye was brandishing a piece of glass that could have only been from her broken kitchen windows.
So that was how Lizzy had got in. Wow! Women can be bloody. And she hadn’t sustained any injuries? She must have had quite the motivation.
“Oh my word, Onyi, I am so sorry. Lizzy how could you? But this is extreme” Ade said
“Don’t allow me swear for you ooo. How dare you stand there and tell me about extreme?” Lizzy lashed out
“She is still talking o. Hian! Nwata nkaa cho onwu o. I didn’t work this hard all these years so that some crazy person can come and break my windows o. Do you have any idea how much it cost?” Onyinye gave back even better than she got.
Ade had to play the peacemaker
“Hold on girls. Come on. You are not really like this. I can’t have you fight because of me”
It was onyinye who punched him on the arm and yelled
“You think this is about you? Do I look like I am fighting to you? Do I even look like I need to fight this… this… “okporoko”? This is about my windows and all the other stuff in my room. This is breaking and entering and vandalism”
“I am so sorry about that, dear, but you and I know this is not the way to go about it.” Ade said, sounding frustrated.
“Onyinye, why are you doing this to me right now? Can’t you see I already have more than enough to deal with?” he continued, gesturing in the general direction of his fiancée
Onyinye’s good sense got the better of her just then.
He looked miserable and quite frankly torn. Lizzy may deserve all of her anger and more – truth was that she wasn’t even angry, a little irritated maybe but not angry- but Ade didn’t. She could fix the windows and replace everything else but if she lost their friendship simply because she wanted a little fun that’d be the real disaster and she’d have won completely… but was it even a battle? No, it wasn’t. She already let go. There wasn’t anything to be won or lost.
He must be going through a lot right now and you’re supposed to be his friend.
Onyinye stopped to take one sincere look at the fiancée- Lizzy. She looked like a wounded bear- hurting and just looking to hurt everything and everyone in its way even if it made her own wounds worse. She was literally thrashing around – just take a look around the room.
A wave of pity rushed over her, so strongly it almost knocked her to her knees. Onyinye had to sit on the closest chair to keep from falling. Very suddenly, the fight was all gone out of her. She had never even wanted to pick a quarrel.
Somehow she had guessed that Lizzy hadn’t used the door as a point of entry and had prepared herself for anything she was going to find when she stepped out of the room. Her reaction had just been reflex incited by the fact that she had decided to have a little harmless fun screwing with the couple – I mean, if they could not withstand something as simple as that how did they intend to make it through the rest of their lives together?
What kind of relationship did they think they had built without trust? Your fiancé tells you he wasn’t out trick or treating for any candy and you cannot believe his words but even then you should be able to give him the benefit of the doubt or at least look in his eye and try to discern the truth yourself… read his body language… go get proof later… do anything, anything but jump to conclusions.
Female folk sure got a lot of issues
“Apology accepted” Onyinye said to Lizzy
“I’m sorry too” she added to Ade.
Ade knew what she meant. She was sorry too about his predicament, his decision and how they had to end up. But he didn’t need for her to be sorry. He just needed her support. Somehow, he needed to know she’d always be there.
“Just try not to be a stranger eh?” Ade said, turning to go get his clothes from the bedroom.
And just like that, it was over.
“Don’t you dare hurt him, young lady. You hear me?” Onyinye said to her minutes after Ade had left the room
“Nothing happened between us okay? Nothing ever did and nothing ever will. He loves you. Don’t be a bitch.” she finished.
“I see you really care about him. I see why he came back here. I hope he never does something like that ever again” Lizzy replied “And you don’t have to threaten me, I’m never losing him again. You cannot begin to imagine what I had to endure. Everybody was on my neck. How did I manage to lose my groom? Where did he go? It was embarrassing.” She finished
“Is that why you came? You couldn’t stand the embarrassment?”
“No, of course not. I love him a whole lot. My life hardly makes sense without him in it. I nearly died knowing he had gone after you.” She paused
“Are you sure nothing really happened? Has ever happened?” Lizzy asked
“C’mon girl, open your eyes. Are you not a woman? Do I look like someone who spent the night getting some?” Onyinye replied sounding bored
“Well, you can’t blame me. You’re one hot babe who somehow has some hold on my man” Liz said
“Oh, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If I ever had any hold, it is gone now. You should be glad he came all the way to break it” Onyi smiled
The smile was meant for herself. Yes. Because she knew it was over – even when Ade refused to admit it and claimed some part of him would always belong with her, she knew that was untrue. The very minute he walked out that door with Liz, took her in God’s presence and declared his love for her, it would all be over… completely… totally. And when he had kids, she’d be all forgotten… every faintest tiniest memory that could count and it’d all be perfectly natural – and she was perfectly fine with all of it.
It takes more than love, much more than passion and even more than tragedy to seal two people together as one forever. At least the way she wanted to be sealed with someone.
“Thanks for… erm… not trying to take him away… and I’m really sorry about your house. You’re not the skank-ho I believed you were” Lizzy said, head bowed
“Oh, it is alright. I already said your apology is accepted”
Ade walked into the kitchen just then and announced
“I’m ready if you are”
“Sure. I am. Shall we?” Lizzy replied heading towards what she believed was the exit.
“I’ll be right with you” Ade said
Onyinye smiled wholeheartedly and stood up to give Ade a farewell hug. She hugged him goodbye, knowing she’d never see him again. Sure she’d call whenever she could and ping and all but that’d be all. If he invited her to the wedding, she’d go…but she’d not see him, she’d see Lizzy’s husband… he’d never be Ade to her ever again.
Ade hugged her fiercely. So this is goodbye. No, he’d not let it be. Of course he’ll see her again. Of course he’ll keep in touch. If he asked her not to be a stranger, he’d have to do his best not to be one.
When they let go, Ade held her at an arm’s length and looked Onyi in the eye. That look spoke volumes. It made promises she knew he’d never keep. She quickly looked away. Somehow, she knew he’d see something beneath her own bored look that she never wanted him to see – her frustration.
Yes, despite the fact that she accepted everything and was happy for him, even, she felt a frustration for one singular reason; they hadn’t done anything about their love, not even when they could. It was a very minute feeling but it was there and she knew he’d have seen it if she’d let him look hard enough… then he’d have felt sorry for her. No. She didn’t need anybody’s pity, much less his.
As the couple drove off in Ade’s car, Onyinye heaved a sigh.
It is over.
An idea struck almost immediately – an idea that promised to bring her some comfort and a much needed distraction in the coming weeks as well as raise more than enough money to replace her windows and cosmetics.
“Wow! You are genius”
The Chief Editor was going to become a writer. Yes, she would tell their story…her story… and hopefully get it published.
“It should sell.” She thought.
Hell, yes it will.
Lizzy stared at everything and nothing. She had gotten tired of looking at her husband to be. He looked so relaxed and at peace when she was boiling with confusion and anger.
Somehow, she didn’t trust what that Onyinye lady said. How could she?
Ade would have to seriously convince her that he loves only her. She wasn’t willing to share at all. The last thing she wanted was to always feel insecure in her marriage.
Ade knew it wasn’t over by a long shot. He had a whole lot of explanation to do to his fiancée. He was hoping that she’d understand though.
She hadn’t said anything to him all the while they had packed in their separate hotel rooms together.
Ade found himself retreating someplace for the time… it was going to be a long drive anyways.
He had been having the strangest most beautiful dream just before the catastrophe that “mornoon”.
It was the day of his wedding and he was feeling like the happiest person in the world standing there in front of the minister and looking at the doors of the church waiting for his bride. Somehow, he hadn’t known who he was getting married to. Not even when she walked down the aisle to him.
Ade remembered feeling an unfamiliar nervousness and fear. It was all too perfect.
She stood right in front of him… they exchanged the vows…and the rings. Her voice was the sweetest thing, like music to his ears. Then it was time to kiss his bride, the bride he didn’t know.
Ade lifted her veil and looked upon her face. Wow. She was beautiful. Still, he didn’t know her. Those lightly coloured lips called to his and he didn’t ignore. He kissed her, his bride, with all the happiness that he felt. She kissed him right back. Wait. He knew that kiss, that passion.
How was it possible? He broke off the kiss to look at her again. It was Onyinye who stood before him.
Ade smiled to himself as he clutched the steering tighter. Of course his subconscious knew how to conjure.
He looked at his fiancée who sat still staring out the window and felt a deep sense of contentment and peace. Yes. He had enough.
Ahem! Onyinye cleared her throat as Ade settled in beside her on the bed.
The bed suddenly felt smaller and Onyinye wished she had taken a little more than two large shots of spirit. Her confidence was slowly leaking out like air from a pin punctured balloon. Yes, if you listened closely enough you’d hear the low hiss, she was practically being deflated and that voice in her head that had practically pushed her all the way in here had decided to betray her by wandering off talking about how Ade looked so yum in her own cotton pants.
What? You never looked that good in it
Next time I need pep talk I’ll go somewhere better reliable, Onyinye swore.
“Are you going to begin?” Ade asked
“Sure. Yes. Okay. Where to begin” Onyinye fidgeted and toyed with her fingernails.
“We have the rest of the night, dear. And relax I’m not going to bite” he said encouragingly
“But you have teeth” she replied
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to use them” he winked
Onyinye smiled. Phew! That was good work from him. He actually succeeded in slicing a chunk out of the tension… and he didn’t need a chainsaw. He was good. Onyinye definitely felt more at ease.
“You’ll be leaving tomorrow, right?”
“Most probably” he made a wry face
“I guessed so too. That is why I had to do this… to come here and talk with you… ‘cos I know we’ll never have a chance like this again”
“I know. We need to talk. But, where to start?”
“I guess there is a lot. I’ll start with the easiest by my classification.” Onyinye took a deep breath
“Why did you come here, Adebola?”
“I already told you. You needed my help and I had to see you” he sounded tired
“Don’t worry. We’ll move from the known to the unknown, dear. I’m just trying to isolate something here”
“You say you had to see me, what were you looking for? Hoping to find?”
Okay. She was putting him on the hot seat here. They were supposed to be having a conversation not an interrogation.
Get over yourself, mister. She made the first move didn’t she? She deserves some cooperation because left to you the both of you would wake up tomorrow wondering what the hell happened and you’d go back to your fiancée ‘cos you’ve always chosen the easy way out. You both want to stop wondering about this, so just oblige her.
Woah! What was that? Cold hard betrayal by my own self… Ade was shocked for a significant fraction of time.
Be honest with yourself and with her. You know why you came here…somewhere inside that head of yours you know. Find it.
How? Where? What?
Onyinye watched as Ade showed a part of himself that she was sure she had never seen. She was certain he didn’t know or he’d have shuttered away like he usually did. Ade was so open right then that she could read the emotions that came and went on his face – surprise, more like shock, irritation, anger, frustration, fatigue and finally resignation?- An epiphany?
Wow! He is taking his time. It isn’t like you asked him to marry you. Could you do that? It would be nice, wouldn’t it?
Oh Shut up.
Onyinye’s voice broke through his epiphany. Yes, he had just had one of those.
Apparently, the man on the inside had been right. He knew why he ultimately came here… to her. He needed to tell her.
No, Ade realized as he broke through his thoughts and came to the reality where she was sitting beside him on the bed, he had to show her.
So he moved very quickly, before he started to over think anything. He moved as fast as his body could carry him. He took her chin in his hands and looked deeply into her eye. He saw all he needed to see. He was not alone. He watched her eyes flutter shut. She had said yes.
Ade let his lips come down slowly, meaningfully, lovingly, to hers. Just before he kissed her, he paused for the slightest fraction of a second giving her a chance to back out but somehow knowing that she wouldn’t. It was the longest pause of his life. He wondered in that second what would happen if she slapped him away? His heartbeat quickened to the point where he actually felt like he would have a heart attack but he somehow knew he wouldn’t. She was here. She had always made him feel that way. She could still make him feel that way. She was the only one who could ever make him feel that way. And somehow he just knew he was hers. That was the great revelation had been about. He was hers.
Ade had intended a slow “emotionate” kiss that would explain to her exactly why he had come- because he always knew he belonged to her and he couldn’t deny that fact anymore- but as soon as his lips touched hers and she responded in that raw and primal way that was very particular of her, he was completely lost. Passion flooded his senses and sensations both old and new were set ablaze and he kissed her so very passionately as his hands found their way everywhere they could go.
That would have to do. But you have to watch it, mister. Point passed across. Stop already and don’t overdo it.
Onyinye felt like she was going to explode. She was actually feeling light headed maybe as a result of the fact that she had taken some alcohol on a barely fed stomach. She hadn’t had anything since the vegetable soup and semovita that Udochi had made her for lunch. No, it was a heavy meal and she has held more liquor on an even emptier stomach.
Ahhhhh! It had to be the way he was kissing her right then- like there was nobody else in the world but the two of them- and the way she was kissing him back like a starved orphan who just found a free banquet… his hands were also doing delicious things with her body as she received a re-education on how he alone could make her feel.
A voice was trying to scream louder in her head as she tried very hard to shut it up. It was the voice of reason seemingly coming from a faraway place.
He has a fiancée. You were just going to discuss. What are you doing?
He already had her t-shirt off and the feel of chest hair against her already sensitive nipples was heavenly. She could go all the way.
So what? He came back here to finally get over you by getting a good bang and you’re just going to let him?
No. That isn’t what this is about. Or was it?
Silence. The voice had quieted having accomplished what it had set out to do.
Ade felt her withdraw and stiffen and knew he had to have done something wrong. What now?
Told you so. Go away.
Onyinye sat up, found her rumpled t-shirt and pulled it on then got up and went to stand by the door. She needed the distance and to be close to the only escape there was from this disastrous male.
“Did I do something wrong?” Ade asked, concern and worry evident in his voice
“Is that what this is all about? Sex?” Onyinye asked in a small defeated voice
The voice of reason was singing an “Ave Maria” in the most sorrowful of tones.
“What?” he looked incredulous
“I asked what you came looking for and the next thing I know you’re devouring me. What would you have me think?”
“Awwwch. Is that really what you think of me?” he looked hurt
“I don’t know what to think” Onyinye said as the tears started to flow.
“Come back here and let me explain. Please?” Ade held out a hand and beckoned “come”
Onyinye wanted to turn and run. It seemed like the most logical thing to do right then. Who said her logic had to be rational? So, she turned the knob, opened the door and ran.
It was a good sprint and she was finally safe in her own room. She threw herself on the bed, facing the pillow and cried.
Ade stood there and watched her sob into her pillow. He had followed her to her room and now stood just beside the side of the bed where she lay crying. Who could understand the working of the female mind? He could have sworn or even bet his balls that they were totally lost in each other. Turns out he would have lost his balls. Bad thinking man.
“Hey” Ade announced his presence before bending to give her a few soft pats on the back.
“I’m right here” he added and when she didn’t say anything or move, he started his confession to the back of her head
“I did some thinking when you asked me that question, Onyi.” he paused to pat her back some more. The activity seemed to make talking easier- he had never been a talker.
“In a nutshell, the reason why I came besides concern for your state and needing to see you… the real reason why I haven’t left, why I didn’t leave after you started showing signs of, well, recovery was because I couldn’t. I came because a huge part of my heart- of my being- belongs to you… I came to try to get it back because it would be the most unfair of things to be marrying one person when you know that you practically belong to another. I want to be whole and complete when I walk down the aisle. I came to try to take back my love for you ‘cos it sucks to feel incomplete. I don’t know who I am exactly. I’m almost two different persons with you and with her and I just want to be me.”
“Wow. That is some serious load.” Onyinye had since sat up and was sitting with her legs folded under her butt on the bed. Something inside of her felt wounded somehow. So he hadn’t come to stay but to take his love and go.
That sucks. I know.
“Wait. Let me finish.”
“Just now though when I realized why I came, I also realized that I can’t take it back. I don’t want to take it back. I don’t want to lose this connection that I feel with you. I…. I love you in the most radical of ways. I have loved other people but I never could feel quite this way… the way I feel with you.”
Okay. So he doesn’t want it back. What difference does that make?
“And you kissed me because?”
“I couldn’t help it. I was dying to” he winked
“Yeah, right, of all the people who can’t help something” she smiled
“I couldn’t help it jor. I was feeling feelings” he laughed
Talking felt good, Ade thought.
“I’m serious. I was compelled to… by temptation… and well, I wanted to show rather than tell you why I came. I’m yours.”
“No, you aren’t”
“No. Not entirely.”
Onyinye forced a smile.
“So what is going to happen now?”
“I guess we have to try not to be strangers this time… I really missed you”
“Well, whose fault is that?” Onyinye asked looking all accusatory and continued
Try not to be strangers this time huh? So he had chosen again, she had never stood a chance. He was leaving with his fiancée.
“So I’ve finally isolated it and, in the long and short, nothing has changed, I see. You still want me but you don’t want me… I’m still very special and you still don’t want that to change… you’re still crazy about me and you still love me but what does that change? We’re back right where we started. On my part it still sucks a lot… I’m still weak for you…” Onyinye paused and looked up at him- she had been staring down at her folded legs- she had to let him know the one thing that had kept her bonded all those years.
Onyinye braced herself and added
“I still love you.”
It was the most painful thing she had ever had to admit; declaring love for someone whom she knew she’ll never have. It hurt even worse because what kept them apart wasn’t entirely insurmountable. They both just couldn’t will a way forth. They never could. She had trusted him to be the one to budge and just when she had realized how hard that would be and had decided to find an alternative- some sort of middle ground- he had cut her off and she had run away wounded and pride had never let her go back to offer her solution.
Ade sighed “I know you do”
Yes, she had been under the bondage of that love for years. It was the reason she had never fully given herself to anyone else. Ade had become a standard that every other man had to beat if they wanted a permanent place in her heart. They had all failed and she had suffered, not because she had loved them but because she had lost him; the one person she had ever dared to trust.
The fact that they were all badly flawed sucked a lot, take Ola for example a guy she had dated for two years after Ade had cut her off, she had been looking for something similar and had opted for a Yoruba dude. Ola had played the part of a sweet dude for a year and half but after he declared his love for her and she hadn’t said it back he had turned into the male version of “Cruella”. When she finally said the three words, he had demanded proof and, after almost three months of swallowing some serious male bitching, she had given in and let him take her virginity. Then he dumped her on the day of their second anniversary.
Onyinye remembered mourning her loss for nearly one year after that but now she realized the real reason why she had mourned. It was because she had pictured Ade when she said those words and even projected him when Ola was making love with her. He had seen Ade in every other male since and she hadn’t hurt for them but for him. He was the only one who was ever able to hurt her. She had missed him too much because he had cut her off completely and she had created a world of pain for herself because of him.
Every poorly chosen relationship and every wound she bore in her heart had been because she had searched for him in places where he could never be found- in other people. Somehow she had hoped he’d come back to her but once again she had been wrong.
“You’ve made me suffer so much” Onyinye said, her voice choked with sorrow.
“I am so messed up. I have made myself suffer for nothing. ” She added in a very light whisper.
Hot tears streaked her face as Onyinye grieved one last time. She needed to. She needed to grieve to let go of him the way she had let go of her baby. That was her biggest weakness- Onyinye didn’t know how to let go. When she had lost her mom, she had spent all of four years being angry at the world and imagining a situation where her mom showed up after many years alive and with a different story. She didn’t grieve until all of four years had elapsed, didn’t shed a genuine tear because she hadn’t wanted to let go. She called herself a realist to the entire world but in truth she was a thorough optimist- even when she knew all the facts stacked against it she’d believe till it killed her in an idea once she was convinced it was genuine.
“I’m sorry” Ade said, unsure why he was apologizing but knowing all the same that he needed to.
One look at her and anybody would be on their hands and knees begging. She wasn’t making any sounds. No. She was just staring into space as tears kept pouring out. She was clutching at her chest in a way that suggested that she was hurting.
Ade was heartbroken for her but somehow he knew she needed to go through that alone so he didn’t reach out to offer any comfort. Once she had told him that a broken heart hurt physically and he could see she hadn’t lied.
Ade felt like a million kinds of fool and stupid for being responsible for whatever she was going through but he knew he couldn’t stop it. A long time ago he had chosen to let her go and had dealt with his own demons- whether or not that was the right choice was very debatable. He loved his fiancée but he also loved Onyinye in more ways than were possible for a man to love a woman. He looked for some element of her in any woman he dated. He never tried to replace her though because he knew that trying would just drive him crazy. For someone who never believed anything to be impossible he had conceded one exception. He loved others because he loved her.
Slowly, very slowly, the well began to dry up. Onyinye felt herself come back to the present gradually. It was a journey. Her head registered what her heart had finally accepted; she would be genuinely happy for him and she would be happy for herself without him.
A cock-crow sounded and Ade took a look at the bedside clock. 5 O’clock in the morning. They had been up all night. Wow.
“We should get some sleep” Onyinye said, having followed his eyes to and from the clock.
“Yeah, I should head back… Are you going to be okay?” he asked concerned
“I am okay. Would you stay here instead?”
He hesitated for a minute to weigh the pros and cons
That raised the number of pros a million times higher
“Sure” he said and slid in.
“You too, dear”
Lizzy looked upon the couple lying snug on the beautiful sheets and grimaced.
So this is where you have run off to.
Her Ade was shirtless, the bitch beside him was barely dressed and he was holding her so closely looking all protective and stuff.
He never held me that way.
Somebody is going to hear from me today.
Lizzy saw red.
To be continued
“A rematch would be fun…”
“But it’d be wrong” Onyinye finished and looked down at her hands which she had clasped together to keep them from doing something stupid like reach out and grab the gorgeous man standing just inches away.
Ade cursed himself silently. Whatever made him think she’d be interested in playing any games with him? And whatever possessed him to actually voice the suggestion? I mean, we only just thought it and the next thing we know it is flying out of this big mouth? Way to go smoothass! The man inside teased.
And she had turned him down, that smart chick. She had always known how to shoot a man down- one of the attributes that had drawn him to her in the first place- and he had always been one to love challenges. He had taken it up on himself to teach her to loosen up some and damn! Had he succeeded! They had had a lot of nice times.
Going down this train would soon have you blurting something even more stupid man.
Ade quickly turned away and started.
“I know, stupid idea right? Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking…”
But she cut him off
“I know what you were thinking” she said, giving him one of those looks that were guaranteed to heat up a man’s blood to boiling point- not on intent- and Ade couldn’t stop his reaction.
Onyinye noticed it almost as soon as he felt it- the tightening of his trouser as all the blood rushed south. Her lips formed a small “Oh” of amazement as Ade slowly adjusted to better hide his still growing ‘south pole’.
Who said it wasn’t possible to get dizzy from desire? Ade thought to himself as he watched her watch him and stare at ‘him’. She wasn’t helping at all by looking at him like he was candy and she was starving.
Someone had to do something or he’d very soon fall to the ground and die…of congee
“You shouldn’t look at me that way, Onyi. Not if you don’t want me to come over there and take all my frustration out on you” Ade spoke through gritted teeth- it hurt to want her like he did right then.
Okay. Not what he had intended to say but it got her to look away, at least.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was looking…anyway…you… erm… are you okay? I mean… with…” Onyinye stammered to a stop.
What is wrong with you, lady? Get a grip
“How nice of you to show up now” She whispered harshly to the voice inside
“Yeah I’m just fine” he grinned at her and added “I should turn in now” turning to make his way out through her bedroom
Wow! That grin transformed his face into that handsome boy she’d fallen for. How is that good for anyone?
“Okay. I’ll show you to the guest room” She replied, taking a few deep breaths before going after him
It wasn’t a long walk as the guest room was just one door down along the same aisle.
You couldn’t cut through the tension with a hacksaw. And what was more, it was the awkward type.
Onyinye unlocked the door and held it open for him.
“You’ll find a toothbrush in the drawer and there is everything else… good night” she rushed
“Thanks. Good night”
Onyinye watched him shut the door in her face and cringed. The action was more symbolic than she liked to admit. I mean, he had literally shut her out of his life all the while they were apart. And were they together now? Only in the most irrelevant of senses… Still he had shut her out again.
As she began the lonely walk back to her room, Onyinye started to analyze what had just happened. Wow! That reaction in the bathroom was something. If he still felt that way about her, what did that mean? Did it mean anything? And the way she had reacted to him? Thank goodness women didn’t get visible erections or she’d have embarrassed herself to hell and back.
She had just zonked out there for awhile and watched him hungrily and her insides had melted. Oh! She could still feel some dampness right there between her thighs.
She got into her room and perched idly on the side of her bed. Not even remotely interested in backing down from the line of thought, she stayed on.
One question rose up from somewhere in her mind- a question she had probably been avoiding ever since they got to her place that evening. What happens after tonight?
“I don’t know” she said to herself rising to her feet and pacing while she raved on
“There is the fact that he is engaged and his fiancée is somewhere in town and by tomorrow, we’d have to face that… then there is the part where we have tonight to iron out the issues between us to enable us finally move along…”
Onyinye briefly considered the latter issue and decided that they needed to talk. When had she become this woman who feared to have a conversation? The idea had been to burn the book and then progress to discuss a way forward.
Burn the book…. Something was wrong.
Oh! No! The tap, Onyinye remembered that in the whole distraction she had left the tap running and quickly dashed over to the bathroom to turn it off.
“Phew! That would have made a mess” she said, giggling to herself.
Okay when did we last leave the tap running? He is messing with us, I tell you girl. This has to stop, one way or another. How dare he come over here after all this while and disorganize everything like this? And what is going to happen when he leaves? And you’re giggling? When did you last do that?
You are going to go over there and you’re going to find a way out of this. That girl screamed at her
“But… How? I’m a ball of nerves right now… and he quite frankly scares me- not in the creepy way but you know in what way. What if I end up in his arms? You know how it can get between us.”
Isn’t that the idea of the whole thing? Why should you fear the way you feel? Would you not rather get a grip- bring yourself under control once and for all? Stop giving yourself excuses. Just do it.
“Okay. Okay. I’ll just do it.” Onyinye gathered herself and embarked on that lonely walk back to the guestroom. No. She’d make a quick stop at the fridge first. There should be some “ginger-giving alcohol” in there somewhere.
“C’mon niccuh. Stop acting up.” Ade said, furious at his still growing erection. Somehow, the genius idea of having a cold shower had ended up aggravating his problem. The fact that he could still hear her moving around the house wasn’t helping at all. Heck! He never knew he could grow this big and still be contained.
Self pleasure had never been his thing and so he had just settled for ‘talking himself down’.
Why did he ever agree to stay the night? And wasn’t he the one who was preaching how it wouldn’t be right for them to kiss again? Who is this person who doesn’t care anymore? And things still felt very complicated between them. And there was Lizzy? What was he going to do about that?
“So much for time solves it all” He muttered and added to his erection “You haven’t been solved by time… looks like you even got worse”.
Ade smiled and shook his head at himself. Mahn! It was going to be a long night.
Ade was just starting to towel his hair dry when he heard the soft knock.
He had spent some time digging in the drawers for the brush and a towel that could wrap around his waist and when he had finally found one, he had gone searching for a smaller one to dry his hair on and had hit the jackpot when he found a nice cotton trouser in the drawer- he could sleep in that. One thing he’d give her- she was tidy and organized. He had just had what seemed like a hard time because he was new to the environment.
Since it was just the both of them in the house, Ade knew it had to be her. His heart beat faster and the almost calm man under the towel came to life again. Wow! Are we eager? She’d faint at the sight of ‘him’, he thought, but there was nothing he could do and as the knock came again, he realized he’d been standing rooted to one spot. She’s probably growing impatient. Get the door, silly.
“Coming!” he called out, preferring to don the cotton slacks first. Now, that just sounds sexual, you perv. “Shut up!”
Onyinye was just about to turn and run when the door cracked open. She reached out to push but he held it wide open right at the same time, so she ended up grabbing air and fell forward into him.
Mmmmmmm bare-chested. “Yes. That is just so encouraging. You talked me into coming here so don’t you dare betray me now”, she mentally talked back at the voice in her head.
Oh! So that was why he delayed. He smelled of her bath lotion.
She quickly straightened up and from the look of his damp uncombed hair, he had just showered.
“Sorry about that” Ade smiled and stepped out of the way so she could enter.
Way to act cool that voice said as he proceeded to shut the door.
First thing that caught his eye as he looked back around the room after shutting the door was the pretty lady settled in cross-legged on the side of the bed directly facing him. She had her hands folded in that defensive pose he knew all so well. She must be feeling very nervous because her eyes were looking everywhere but at him. Well, it wasn’t his fault he was spending the night at her place without any change of clothes, he thought.
And if it was any consolation, he was nervous too and quite frankly turned on to the point that it actually hurt. That small short he had failed to notice in the rush of the night up until that point was definitely standing out – how could it not? It was pink- and that blue t-shirt… Wait! Oh, lord! Is she wearing anything underneath that shirt? Her nipples played peek-a-boo with his eyes.
Okay, he had to focus. Stop staring already.
“Seen enough?” Onyinye asked
“I… erm… erm…” He stammered and looked away sharply. So she had noticed.
“Come over here, will you?”
He took the steps. His legs felt somewhat heavier. Oh! Yes, there was that weight hanging between his legs.
“We need to talk”, she started.
“I agree”, he said
To be continued
Not much left, guys. Stick around?
It was always your right,
It was always your place.
Nobody could touch me,
Or there’ll be hell to pay.
Nobody could love me,
Not when you had a say.
But then you were not alone,
Whatever we did we did as a duo,
It was always unanimous.
Until you put a dent in my heart.
I never agreed to that,
Or maybe I did agree just a tad,
Afterall we were together just being rad.
Nobody could hurt me,
Or you’d blow a gasket,
You alone would it be,
To put the nails in my casket.
Nobody could have me,
Unless you decided they were fit.
Nobody deserved me,
To you, everyone was filth.
I enjoyed it,
Quite frankly encouraged it.
Until you had me sit,
And break my heart bit by bit.
I am happy though,
It had to happen so.
I had been the dough,
And into a big rich hater you’ve made me.
Now I believe the truth,
I guess I’ve always known.
It was never your right,
It was never your place,
I it was who had given you the grace,
Now I leave disgraced,
But I’ll be damned if I let another take your place.
Let me tell you something about myself
Let me unravel this mystery
Let me unveil myself
Let you know my story.
Let me bare my soul
Let me empty my spirit
Let me play this role
Let you in on my secrets.
I know you wonder about me
I know you think I’m not real
Even when you can feel me
You wonder about possibilities you can’t reach.
Your heart beats faster
The joy within flows like a river
But soon, that heart feels a pain so horrible it makes you shiver
It is all a disaster.
I am Love
I am sweet but then I am sour
I am weak and tough
I’m controversial and misunderstood.
There is but one way you can grasp me
One way you can own me
Let me tell you… No, Let me show you
For unless I do, you really have no clue.
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